“Parker,” a whisper came over me. “Parker.”
The nudge on my side woke me. I turned around and noticed Hana was breathing erratically. Her eyes filled with fear. I sat up quickly, and stroked her bald head, “Hana, what’s wrong, babe?”
“I-i-its time,” she croaked.
Whatever sleepy, groggy feeling I had, left, and pain laced my heart. I shook my head violently. No, it was not time. I didn’t get enough time. NO. I needed more time with her. “No.” I cried. “Just hold on, Hana. Please.”
“It hurts, Parker.”
“I know.” I did. She’d been hurting the last few days. All day she slept in the bed while I held vigil. I knew any day was going to be the last, but I still wasn’t ready. This can’t be it. “Hana, I can’t lose you. I can’t. I need you. I love you.”
“I love you so much, Parker.”
“Please, don’t.” I cried. Her hands held my face, and she wiped my one cheek.
“Be brave. I need my James Bond.”
“And I need my Moneypenny.” I kissed her and felt her arms go slack. I felt the last of her breath leave on my lips. I watched her life leave her eyes. No. Nonononononono. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I screamed. “Hana! Please! I can’t live without you. Hana! HANA!” I shook her body. “Hana, don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you. Not now. Hana, wake up. HANA!”
An arm grabbed my shoulder, and I cried in whosoever arm it belonged to. It was Kaliq. “She’s gone, Dad, she’s gone.”
“No,” I couldn’t breath. It hurt. Oh god it hurt. I’ve never felt such pain. My eye, my arm, nothing prepared me for the pain I was in at that moment. My heart felt as if someone ripped it to shreds before extracting it from my chest. “HANA!” I yelled as I collapsed onto the floor. I couldn’t see, but I heard Kaliq and Riddle. Kaliq lifted me up and Held me up as he pulled me away. My Hana.
He pulled me away from Hana, and I…I just wanted to be with Hana. I wanted…my gun. I turned out of my son’s embrace and made a dash to the stairway. Hana. I had to be with Hana.
Kaliq tackled me to the ground.
“NO! I have to! I got to!” I fought him, but he was too strong in my emotional state.
“Dad, no.” Kaliq yelled in my ear. “You have to stay strong. Ma wanted you to be strong for us.”
“I can’t.” I cried. I tried to get out of Kaliq’s arms, but I couldn’t. He held me tighter than I could ever imagine. “I can’t live without her.”
“Yes you can.” Kaliq held me close. “Please dad, for me. I need you here.”
My protective instincts overrode my pain. Hana would want me to be there for the kids. I had to put on my brave face and help my kids get through the pain. I turned and hugged Kaliq, who didn’t look like he was hanging in there—just enough though. He and I cried in each other’s arms. I noticed Riddle holding Pear and Penny. I into their arms and we all cried. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.
“I’m going to call the coroner. You have everything, right?” Kaliq whispered.
I nodded. Hana’s will and everything were on the kitchen table—been there for over a week. Since she fell ill eight days ago, she had me prepare the papers I was going to need. Before the coroners arrived I got to say my last and final goodbye. I kissed my wife’s forehead, and cried.
“Be strong, just have to wait for me one more time. I love you, Hana.” I whispered into her lifeless body. I left my apartment to great the coroner to take her body to the mortuary. Hana was gone, and I, Parker Rain had no fucking clue as how to go on, but I will as long as my family needed me.