I landed back in Bridgeport and arrived home. I immediately crashed right on my bed. I don’t think I have ever felt so exhausted in my life. I knew I had to be back at SIA in an hour, but it just looked so tempting. I decided to take a quick twenty minute cat-nap. I needed it, my body needed the rest.
At some point, I’m not sure when or how long it was, I heard the door to my bedroom open. Without thinking I drew my gun that was under my pillow. I aimed it right at the intruder – right at mom. Shit.
I don’t think I have ever, and I mean ever, heard someone scream that loud in my entire life. Oh, I was in so much deep shit now.
I sat up and placed my gun back under the pillow. “S-s-sorry mom.” I stuttered. I was not only just afraid of her, I was more afraid of my father finding out. Boy, was I about to get my ass chewed out.
“What in the hell were you thinking, Parker Rain!?!” She yelled. Man, was she furious. She looked as she could snap me in two, and I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit if she did. “That better not be loaded, young man!”
I gulped. Of course it was loaded! I just killed three assassins, I was gonna carry protection no matter where I was. “Uh. . .” I said as I looked down at my feet. Crap I am so screwed.
“You pulled an armed gun on your own mother!” She screamed again. “PARKER RAIN!”
And if things couldn’t have possibly gotten any worse, my father walked into the room. He looked at the two of us, saw the gun, narrowed his eyes, and crossed his arms at me. He was more than pissed. “What’s going on?”
“Your son,” She pointed a finger at me, “YOUR SON pulled a gun on me!”
Dad didn’t shout, which I think was a bad sign. I mean, normally when he gets pissed off beyond reason he tends to shout, so I didn’t know what this type of silence meant. “Parker Rain, did you pull your gun mother?”
I nodded and gulped. I looked away at my feet. My parents were more than a bit mad at me. They were furious. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled.
“Can I ask why?”
I shook my head. I had no good reason as to why I pulled a gun on my mother. I felt so guilty for doing it. If I hadn’t hesitated when I woke, my mom would be dead. I felt that knot in my chest rise rise. I felt almost sick as I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I could have killed my mother – what kind of man am I? I almost started to cry, but I kept it in. I took one deep breath and looked at mom, “I’m sorry, mom. I really truly am sorry. I was just . . .” I couldn’t admit my fears. I couldn’t tell either of them what had happened to me over seas. “I’m just sorry mom.”
She nodded and walked out without another word. Dad followed her, I’m hoping that he did it to calm her down.
Not two seconds after the two of them left my room, I checked my watch. Shit! I slept for over two hours! I ran as fast as I could to get to the elevator, I didn’t even acknowledge anyone as I left. I was so late to my debriefing with Ellis – she was gonna have my ass that’s for sure.
As the elevator dropped, I thought about what had happened in my room. Only then did I let a single tear fall. I would never again keep an armed weapon in my home. Never again would I endanger my parents’ or my sister’s life.
I walked into the top-secret facility and into the room that Ellis and the rest of her team was waiting. Most of the men in the room were either intelligence officers or Deltas. I shook my head and closed the door. “Sorry I’m late Ellis.”
She didn’t say anything to me directly. Though, just by looking at her narrowed eyes, I could tell she was pissed that I was late. She looked around at the table, pointed to a chair, and finally looked at me and addressed the entire room. “Now that we’re all here 1, lets cut to the chase. Rain, what do you have on Yan?”
I sat and opened up my laptop. I signed into the secure network there and pulled up my files and used one of the many screens on the wall to show my presentation. I pulled up pictures of the three assassins and told them what all happened in both China and Egypt.
For a while nobody said a word. Then Ellis turned and looked at me, “Very good Delta Nine.” She stood and looked around. “Needless to say, I think now that we all know the bigger picture we need to strategize. . .” She started to bark orders while I tried to understand what the hell she was talking about. What bigger picture? What the hell is really going on? I was so confused I barely registered the order for me to go to Ellis’ office.
“Have a seat Agent Rain.” She ordered.
I looked at the barely lit office. “Why?”
“No!” I yelled. “What the hell is going on Ellis? I did everything I could do over there! And I come back to cryptic meetings that are so confusing I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on. So, NO I will not sit down!”
“SIT DOWN!” She yelled and pointed at the chair. I finally sat down. Damn, this day keeps getting worse.
“What the hell were you thinking Agent Rain?” She asked. I just looked at her all confused. I had really no idea what she was talking about. “I told you not to kill anyone on this mission! This isn’t a gun-slinging show! I needed to keep this mission quiet, and you have already started to shoot!”
“You’re suspended until further notice.”
She started to turn to sit back at her desk when I jumped out of my chair. “WHAT!” I yelled. “Ellis, you can’t do that! I was only protecting myself!”
“I don’t care. There are other ways of handling these type of situations Rain. Now, dismissed.” She sat at her chair and went on her own laptop. I huffed, but I did leave. There was no fighting Ellis, what she said was gold. She was right, I didn’t have to kill two of those assassins. The last one though, there was no other way going about it. It was kill or be killed, and I killed.
Later that night after I got home, I did my own research on the project. Just because I was suspended, didn’t mean that I didn’t have work. Sure, I could have just partied or whatever until I was called back in. I wasn’t like that. I needed to get my answers. I needed to still find Yan.
My work was cut short as I heard a knock at my door, before my dad opened it. “Is it safe to come in?” He asked. I turned off my computer and closed it before allowing him to come in.
He came in and leaned against my desk. “You wanna talk about why you pulled your gun on your mother to me?” He asked.
I sighed. Of course I knew that he wasn’t going to let that slide, not in a million years would he have ever let anything like that happen to the love of his life. “I’m really sorry dad.” I told him again.
“I don’t care if your sorry. I’m worried about you. What the hell happened these past couple of months that made you this uptight, Parker?”
I kept quiet. I wasn’t about to tell dad what happened. I didn’t ever want him to worry because of my job.
“Parker, talk to me.”
“I can’t dad.” I whispered. “It’s just too much. Please, just drop it. I’m sorry about mom, I really am. I just had a lot of things happen to me. I can’t tell you. I won’t tell you. Your just gonna have to trust me when I say that it will never happen again.”
He nodded. “Okay. But just so you know, I am here if you need to talk. I love you Park, I will always love you.” Then he left.
That night was the first night of many nights that I started to have my nightmares. I could see bullets flying at me and I could feel myself pulling that trigger. I could feel them dying around me. Each one of those men, I could see them looking at me just before they died. It scared me. Only in my dreams did I really see what had happened – I took a life. I took three lives away. I did. I killed, and no one could save me from my demons now. That man was right, I would never forget killing him. How could I?
I woke with a start, like every morning. I was drenched in my own sweat. Every dream scared me. Every nightmare I had, I couldn’t escape from. It was all there, all my guilt was inside. I cried silently every morning and tried hard to wake from the hell I was now in with my own conscience.
I got off the bed finally and entered the shower. I could hear Leslie in her room playing, and my parents laughing in the living room as they watched the television. What day was it, anyway? Oh right, Saturday. It had been so long since I kept time. When I was gone, days were so distorted I didn’t even know what day it was when I actually arrived home. Sunday, or was it Monday I came home? See, time for me never really mattered, the job did.
When I got out of the shower I went to brush my teeth when I noticed my hair was pink. PINK! WHAT THE FUCK! I looked over at the shower through the mirror and then at my hair. MY HAIR!
It didn’t take long for me to figure out who the hell booby-trapped the shower, and she was so DEAD! First, I get shot at, then I get electrocuted by stupid hidden traps, now THIS! Oh yea, she was so going to pay. “LESLIE ANNE RAIN, I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”
After rinsing out the food coloring I went in search for my little sister. She was walking to the living room. I grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around. “YOU ARE DEAD!” I screamed.
She backed off, “Mom?” She cried.
“Oh don’t ‘mom’ me Leslie! You know exactly what you did, and I am gonna –“
“Parker!” Mom yelled as she walked to the doorway. “What’s going on?”
“She put food coloring in the shower as a trap! My hair was PINK!” I screamed. Leslie started to laugh. I took a step towards her. “You think that’s funny? Wait till I get my –“
“Parker, walk away.” Mom said from the doorway. “And Leslie come in here, dad and I want to have a word with you.”
Sure enough she got hers in the end. She was put into time-out. I almost laughed. When I asked dad why she was in the corner and not on her bed, he told me because there she plays and doesn’t care. In the corner, she has to stand there and actually think about what she did.
As time went on, I discovered that this new method of punishing my little sister worked wonders for mom and dad. Leslie was a pain in the ass sometimes. After the “shower” incident, she tried to set a trap on dad’s computer. Dad caught her red-handed, and sent her to the corner for over an hour. He was pissed!
Leslie was a spoiled little brat.
Oh and did I mention, she had to wear glasses? Yeah, after getting a note from her teachers about her misconduct my parents found the reason was because she couldn’t see the board at school so she would act-out.
Anyways, Leslie was a spoiled little brat, though I knew that since she was a toddler. I bought her a gift in China and tried to give it to her. “What is it?” She asked.
She shook the box and figured it was a book. “Phsss, a book. Puh-leaze Parker, books are for dorks. If you want to get me something cool, just hand over your wallet.”
I was shocked. Did she really just say that to me? What the hell is wrong with her? I knew if I was her age, I’d take any gift handed to me. But this little brat, no, she was picky on her fucking presents! “Fuck you, Les. I bought something nice for you. If you don’t want it, then I’ll find someone who might actually enjoy it.”
I ended up giving it to mom, who was so thrilled she actually screamed in happiness. Now, that’s a reaction I was looking for.
Dad still tried to talk to me. He was worried that I spent most of my time either sleeping, on my computer, or sitting at the television and sulking as I watched all my old Bond movies. I finally threw my fork down and looked at dad one morning after he was constantly nagging at me to open up. “I killed someone, OKAY! There, happy! I fucking killed someone!” I yelled and walked away. I left him sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
Of course dad was right. I wasn’t doing much around the house. I felt guilty and horrible. My heart ached as I thought of each bullet I put into the men I killed. I never even thought about what Bond really had to do. I thought wielding a gun and shooting the bad guys would be simple. But, it wasn’t. It was hard to process. Once you take that life, there’s no going back. No wonder Bond never settled down with Moneypenny – he couldn’t face his real problems, so he runs off and kills more cause that’s all he can do.
Mom finally interrupted me one evening as I sat there sulking as I watched Goldfinger. She took the remote and turned off the television. “MAAAAA!” I whined. “That was the best part!”
“Meeting Pussy Galore is not the best part!”
“Shows what you know.” I mumbled and felt the smack she gave me on the back of my head. “Sorry.”
“We need to talk, Parker. I’m worried about you.” I nodded to her statement. I was worried about myself. “You need to get out of the house. Dad told me what you said the other day. I want to help you, but only if you want my help.”
“I know, but I also don’t want to worry you or dad. I can handle it. I just need to get back to work.”
“No, you need to get out of the house. Go and find some fun, Parker. You deserve it after the last few months.”
So, I did. I headed to the gym. I needed to keep in shape. I learned after fighting a few of the men I killed that I wasn’t that strong, or in that great of shape. I needed to get into more shape since I was in a physically demanding job. I ran the treadmill every day for an hour.
Then I worked on my strength. I lifted weights until my arms felt like they were gonna fall off. I pushed myself more and more everyday. I had nothing else to do anyway. I constantly thought of my next battles and how I would do it differently. I wasn’t going to kill unless it was absolutely necessary; like the third guy.
And when I wasn’t at the gym working out, I was at home working on my Karate. In fact I worked out so much that I applied for a new belt and got it. I was now a Blue Belt, if that made much of a difference. I felt good about my physical strength though. I knew I could take anyone on in battle, and I was now more prepared than ever to take on some strong opponent if it came to that.
I didn’t just work out, nope. I also found myself at a different bar every night. I know its probably not the smartest idea I have ever had, but my mom did say I should go out and have some fun. I don’t know if I drank to forget, or to just numb the pain though. Probably both. I wanted to forget about what I had done, yet I wanted to numb the sickening guilty feeling I carried around.
Of course drinking at bars came with perks – like last night. I was at the Brightmore drinking a martini when I saw this gorgeous, beautiful lady dancing. So, I put my drink down and headed to talk to this woman. “So tell me, what’s a pretty girl like yourself doing in a place like this?” I asked.
“Well, now, if it isn’t Parker Rain. You still have that Bond charm.”
I laughed after I realized who it was. “Kelly Miller, you look just as bad-ass as ever. How was prison?”
“Ha-ha, I got off on a technicality. How’s that bitch of a woman you have?”
“Nat? Gone. You are now looking at a single man.” I flirted. “Care for a dance?”
She took my hand and together we danced to four fast-paced songs. “So, she finally wised up and kicked your ass to the curb?” She asked over the music.
“Yup.” I yelled back. We tried to talk for the rest of the night. The pop and hip-hop music was loud and obnoxious, but I was able to learn a lot about my fellow nemesis from high school. I learned she was a nurse and had turned her life around. I praised her and told her I was now traveling the world and having fun.
Finally as the music started to slow, and I tried to catch my breath I offered her a drink.
“You know Parker, you can buy me all the drinks you want, but you’ll never get into my skirt.”
“One rises to meet a challenge2.” I winked at her before dragging her to the bar.
I bought her a drink, then I bought her another. We talked as we sat there and flirted. I continued to buy her drink after drink. We both drank that night, so it wasn’t just her. We were pretty shitfaced by the time she grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bar.
“Where we goin’?” I slurred.
“Your house.” She answered.
She and I raced to a taxi. As we did I continued to kiss her neck and stroke the hem of her skirt. By the time we got to my apartment complex we were making out, rubbing ourselves against each others thighs. I continued to play with her skirt and she rubbed on me, feeling the hard muscle in my pants.
When the elevator came we were in it and I slammed the emergency break before it arrived to my floor. I had her up against the wall, my pants at my knees and her skirt up her waist. (I LOVE a girl in a skirt. And I LOVE a girl who goes commando!) She and I never stopped kissing as I pounded her hard against the elevator’s wall.
As we got off the elevator we ran inside. She said something about showering, so we both ran to the bathroom as quiet as possible. While in there we did more than clean ourselves up. I had her against the tile. I almost laughed as she moaned my name. “Be quiet Kelly, my parents are across the hall.” I whispered. Even before I could warn myself the same warning, I felt myself coming and I grunted louder than she did.
“What was that you said about keeping quiet?” She laughed after we caught our breaths. I laughed along with her.
“Sorry.” I whispered.
By morning, I woke more exhausted than I thought possible after a a night of rough, hard sex. I watched as Kelly slept I my arms. God, she was hot. I stroked her side and heard her moan a bit. I smiled, even in sleep she was moaning with need. Instead of waking her up for another round of hot sex, I decided that I needed something for my massive hangover – that and I had to pee.
Just as I walked out of my room, my dad came out of the bathroom. He had this knowing smile planted across his face. I was so busted. “Have a fun night?” He asked with a laugh.
“Oh yea.” I grinned.
“Yeah, she any good?”
“What do you think?” I asked with a wider smile. There was no way he didn’t hear us all night long.
“I’m thinking that I taught my son well.” He winked and headed off towards his bedroom. I about died with laughter right there. My dad was such a horn dog, I swear. If it hadn’t been for mom propositioning herself on him, he’d probably still be a player.
My parents, were in love more than ever. I have never seen a happier and beautiful couple. It actually tears up my own heart. As I watched them kiss later that night, I thought about the Egyptian woman and how I wanted what my parents had – but with her. I wanted to look away from my parents and not think of the Egyptian woman. Yet, I couldn’t because that’s what I wanted, right there in front of me. I wanted happiness that I could only find in loving someone else.
Yet, happiness had to wait. Just as I watching my parents part from their make-out session my phone went off. Finally, some news! “Rain speaking.” I answered.
“Delta Nine, we need you now.” Ellis ordered before hanging up. I placed my phone back in my pocket and looked at mom and dad, who now were staring at me with worry.
“I’ll be fine.” I assured them. “They just want me back in the office.”
They both nodded but didn’t say anything. They would worry no matter what.
I grabbed my gun and duffle bag from my room and ran out of the house. It didn’t take long before I arrived at SIA. I was escorted to Ellis’ office. Inside, I was definitely surprised to find that Ellis wasn’t alone.
“Well, hello.” I flirted with all my charm.
Ellis rolled her eyes. “Agent Rain, snap out of it! This is Agent Wednesday. Wednesday, this is Rain.”
“A pleasure.” I said as I took her hand and raised it to my lips.
She laughed and rolled her eyes with Ellis. “Cute, but you are so not my type.”
Next to her, Ellis laughed. “Great, now take a seat.”
“So, Ellis what’s this about?” I asked.
“Your suspension for starters.” She smiled and I knew very well that my suspension was up. “I need you to accompany Ms. Wednesday to France. She has a contact there that just informed us about a huge sale going down between Fournier and Lee. I need you to stop it from happening.”
“But I’ve been compromised. Fournier knows who I am.” I reminded her.
“I know, but you’re the only Delta that I have. Eight and Ten are on a mission in the Congo right now. I need you to take care of Fournier like you took care of those other three, but not until after you find out what he’s selling.”
“You don’t know?” I asked.
“Our contact was killed trying to find that out. I need you two to go gather the intel first, relay it to me, then take care of Fournier.”
I nodded. “What’s our cover?”
“A newly married couple on your honeymoon.” She smiled.
What? I gulped and tried not to look to petrified. “Y-y-your not serious?” I asked. Is my tie on too tight? Is it getting hotter in here?
The laughter coming from the side of me got my attention. “You think this is funny?” I yelled.
“Of course.” She laughed again. “Though, we may have to change that get-up if you are gonna be my husband.”
I turned to Ellis. “You can’t do this to me, Ellis! I’ll take any other type of cover, but this. . .” I shook my head. “There’s no fucking way!”
“Rain, you will do this, and I expect full cooperation with you. Don’t and I will take your status away. This is the type of mission you’ve always craved, take it or get the hell out!”
I gulped before accepting the challenge. I would do this. I was ready – wasn’t I?
“Now, here’s your passports.” She handed us both a passport. “Though, I have to say these pictures don’t do you two justice. I have rarely seen a more handsomer couple.3 ”
I just rolled my own eyes. Sure, she was cute, but I was not looking forward to working with her. Uhg!
“Good luck you too.” Ellis said as we left the room. I nodded and walked out before Wednesday did.
1. Connery, S (Actor). (1965). Thunderbell [DVD].
2. Brosnan, P. (Actor). (1995). Goldeneye [DVD].
3. Connery, S. (Actor). (1963). From Russia With Love. [DVD].